Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Postnatal Depression!

It's 1am in the morning and I still haven't gone to sleep! Neil is snoring his head off on the lounge as I write this lol! Anway here is a layout close to my heart! It's about the postnatal depression I have suffered for the past 5 or so years! I only got treated for it last year.
Journalling still needs work:
Last year, the year 2005 was one of the worst years of my life for many reasons! One reason I hated that year so much was because my depression that I had been hiding away for so many years, came out with full effects. March 2005: My boys specialist doctor, noticed that I looked extremelely run down, tired and on the verge of a breakdown. She pleaded for me to go on anti-depressants for a while, just until I felt that I could cope again. Half of me thought to myself "I don't think so, I am studying Behavioural Science and that is my area of expertise" and the other half was thinking "How cool would it be if this medicine worked, it could change my life". I put my ego away and decided to give them ago, she prescribed me a form of prozac. I took the medication for two weeks and I felt no better. The doctor told me they take up to a month to work. A month later I was in a terrible state psychologically and emotionally. My dose was then doubled. This is when I went from being depressed to extrememly out of control depressed. I was no longer in charge of myself and my moods where all over the place. I had hit rock bottom. I thought that I was going insane, I thought I was going to die and I thought my life was over. My boys specialist booked me in to see a psychiatrist the next day and suggested that hospital might be a good place for me right now. "No way I thought and I was so not going". I went to see Dr Tingay one of the best adult psychiatrists in Adelaide. She diagnosed me as having severe postnatal depression with an anxiety disorder. After months and months of psychotherapy and the correct medication, she saved my life! I was shocked that I could have postnatal depression 3 years after having a baby. I thought that was a bit bizzare at first, but when I really thought about it, it wasn't! I never got the help I needed 5 years ago after having my first child. As the years went on the depression just got worst, until I wasn't able to cope anymore. For me I was tired most of the time, I feared everything, I had major panic attacks, I was breathless, I had rapid heart rate, I couldn't connect with my children, I couldn't think clearly, I had no motivation to live, life scared me to death and I didn't want to be here. I am so glad that I got the help I needed! No one has to suffer this terrible illness. Now 1 year on I am almost fully recovered! I still take antidepressants but of another type and for another reason. My life has changed completetly from a year ago! I love my life now and I have the passion and desire to live. In some ways I would not take back what I have been through as I have learnt so much and gained so much academic and life experience from it. Now I don't take life for granted and I enjoy every moment, how cool is that!!!!

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